For Your Pleasure Parties by Tonia Independent Business Associate

Introducing Romance Products To Your Relationship

09/17/2010 10:12

Lies, myths and misconceptions about sex toys abound. Needless to say, most of them aren't true. However, you should always treat your lover's concerns seriously - especially when it comes to sex. Be prepared to deal with just about anything, including feelings of inadequacy, emotional discomfort and ignorance. You probably won't know your lover's sex toy reservations until you talk to him or her, but you can anticipate a few responses to some common attitudes about sex toys.

Sex toys are for perverts, weirdoes, sluts or freaks.
All kinds of people use sex toys, including people most would consider perfectly normal. Yes, perverts, weirdoes, sluts and freaks use sex toys, but so do doctors, lawyers, housewives, teachers, accountants, bus drivers, secretaries ... and just about anyone else you can think of. Using a sex toy doesn't make you "weird." It just makes you have an orgasm! If your partner has this fear, suggest that he or she talk to his or her friends about it, or do some Internet research on the subject. Your lover might be surprised by how common sex toy usage can be.
Sex toys aren't just for masturbation.

While sex toys are commonly used for solo sex, many couples enjoy using sex toys together, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your relationship - quite the opposite. Usually the kinds of people who are comfortable trying new things together are open-minded, intimate, comfortable and trusting. Using a sex toy together is a good way to reaffirm the strength of your relationship. If your lover has this concern, try giving him or her a book on using sex toys to add excitement to your partnership. There are lots of them!

Once you are able to bring the toy into the relationship, remember a few basic commonsense tips.
• Start slow. Save the double dong or strap-on dildo for future encounters. Try a nice, simple rocket vibrator. Once your sweetie is used to the vibe, you can trade up.
• Be gentle. Your partner may like it on the rough side, but hold back a little the first few times you play with toys. There's plenty of time to accelerate!
• Talk to your partner. He or she may have agreed to use the toy, but that doesn't mean your lover is 100% comfortable with the idea. Talk your way through the experience. Ask your partner if what you are doing together feels good. If it doesn't, try something else.
• Use lubrication. Sex toys need lots of lube to slip and slide the way they should. The last thing your girlfriend needs to worry about is whether she's wet enough to enjoy herself. Similarly, you don't want to risk injury to male or female partners by inserting something into a dry orifice. Keep a bottle of lube handy and use it.
• Be flexible. The toy you've selected might turn out to be totally wrong for your sexual personalities. That's okay. Put it aside and try something different.
• Be patient. Your partner may agree to play with the toy, and then change his or her mind midway through the experience. That's his or her prerogative. Be patient and try again another time. It might take awhile, but it will be worth the wait.
The important thing to remember is that your relationship is a partnership, which implies that both of you are in this together. You make the decision together; you select the toy together. If your lover feels as though he or she can trust you, things will go much better for you and your toy. Sharing the experience goes a long way to promoting that trust.

Your partner will feel inadequate if you start using a sex toy.
Many people express concern that bringing a sex toy into their relationship will hurt their partner's feelings. It's understandable: a huge, vibrating penis that brings you to climax every time? Who wouldn't be jealous? Seriously, a sex toy can give you an orgasm, but it can't cuddle with you afterwards. Sex toys will never replace live humans. If your lover has this fear, be sensitive and stroke his or her ego a little bit. As with most relationship issues, good communication can go a long way to solving the problem.

Using sex toys can be physically dangerous.
Absolutely untrue! In fact, sex toys can have very positive effects on your sexual health. For example, menopausal women can use dildos to maintain vaginal tone, staving off incontinence and other sexual health issues. Many doctors and therapists recommend sex toys to women who have trouble reaching orgasm. And finally, a healthy relationship with your body is beneficial to your overall health. Using sex toys heightens your awareness of your body and its functions, making you more alert to abnormalities such as bumps, lumps or abrasions. If your partner is worried about physical dangers, sit down and surf the Net together. Any sexual or general health site can assuage his or her fears.

If you use sex toys too much, you won't have an orgasm with your partner.
We hear that one all the time! Yes, the earthshaking orgasms produced by a vibrator can be psychologically addictive, but they don't take the place of a real person. Think about it: most people have been using their hands to masturbate since they were young, yet they usually prefer partner sex to solo sex, don't they? If your partner is afraid you'll replace him or her with your battery-powered pal, promise him or her that you'll keep your sex life varied: try different positions, new toys, role playing and fantasy, both in partner sex and solo sex. Boredom and repetition often cause bed death.

If your relationship is solid, there's no reason why you should need a sex toy. Wrong!!! As we've already suggested, using a sex toy with your lover can actually strengthen your relationship. You need to have a certain amount of closeness to share this intimate new experience together. Using a sex toy can be a good affirmation of that closeness. If your lover doesn't think you need a sex toy to brighten up your sex life, assure him or her and let them know that it's something you want to at least TRY.

Buying sex toys can be really embarrassing.
We agree, which is one of the reasons we've created this nifty, anonymous place to buy them. All orders are handled confidentially - your hostess will never know what you ordered, either.